Monday, August 6, 2012

Crib Notes

Things have changed so much over the last 2 months. Both babies are so much more alert and expressive. They both smile now, and laugh.
They play with toys, they “tummy time” it like pros and can roll from their stomach to their back.
They are starting to be interested in what we are eating and want the things that we have.
They recognize us by our faces and our voices, they even recognize each other (which is stupid cute!).

All of these things make the daily grind totally worth it.

The best change so far (or at least the most practical), is that they will now sleep in their cribs.
This was something I was sure would never happen. I was positive that I was doomed to have two children in my bed, beside me, until they were well into their teens.

Now, I can’t just put them in the crib and they fall asleep.

That is not a thing.

That is not a thing that happens.

But they can be easily transferred into their cribs once asleep and STAY asleep.

This is EPIC.

Before, no matter what I did, no matter how sound asleep they were, the second I placed them on the crib mattress their eyes would pop open.
Bringing me. Despairingly back. To square one.

In fact, after weeks of trying to get them into their cribs, I just gave up.

I went a couple of months without even attempting it. What was the point? Why cause myself the grief? Sure, I barely slept with them in bed with me…but it was a small price to pay for the silence.

And you know what?
I probably STILL would be avoiding the cribs if it wasn’t for Bug.

One night, just like many other nights before it, Bug had fallen asleep on her pillow (while nursing).  She had been asleep for several hours and begun to stir (hungry again I assumed).
I cursed myself, for not going to bed when I had the chance, and so, feeling fairly defeated, I carried her upstairs to change her and then bring her to bed with me.

At this time the crib in the nursery was serving as a glorified changing station (the second crib located in our room was not being used at all). I laid her down and changed her; she wasn’t fussing, so I took the opportunity to brush my teeth. When I came back she was still and oddly quiet; I peered at her in the dim light.

She was asleep.

I stood there, just staring at my daughter as if I had never seen her before.

What I was seeing didn’t make any sense.

I peered again, hovering my face inches above hers.


She was asleep.

I didn’t know what to do.

The evidence was right in front of my face, but I found it unbelievable.


I went into the spare room (where Bill had been seeking solace form our crowded bed) and woke him up.

“She’s asleep” I whispered at him though the dark.
“That’s good.” he said, beyond half asleep
“NO!” I hissed.
“You don’t understand, she’s asleep in the crib!”
I sat down on the corner of the bed.
“What do I do?”

He told me to go to bed.
So I did.

She woke up after about 30 minutes, but it was something.

It was more than “something”.

It was hope.

I tried the crib again the next night (the one in our bedroom), this time carrying her up soon after she had fallen asleep.
I was skeptical, positive the night before was nothing more than a fluke.
I was wrong; she slept for over an hour.

Over the following week, I did the same every night, and every night she slept in the crib a little bit longer.
I was triumphant!
I had won the battle!

The war however, was waiting for me.


Badger has been fighting since the moment he was born. He fights me, he fights his father and he even fights himself; especially when it comes to sleep.
Despite being clearly exhausted, Badger will fight against his own heavy and closing eyelids until the very last moment.

I know what this child is capable of, and I wasn’t looking forward to whatever he had planned for me in regards to the crib.

I had come so far! 
I had 50% of my children out of my bed, but I wanted that 100%.

I could taste it.
It was time.

With Bug happily asleep in the crib and Badger passed out on my bed, I attempted to move him to his new spot beside her.

I picked him up slowly, gently; moving with calculated preciseness, I didn’t even breathe.
I lowered him into the crib and by carefully maneuvering my hands, his body finally rested against the mattress.

The moment of truth had come.

Before I could even blink his eyed popped open, he threw his arms and legs violently into the air… and then, before I could blink a second time, his eyes closed, his entire body shuddered and he collapsed back into sleep.

I almost turned around, positive I would see a man standing behind me holding a tranquilizer gun.

For a second time in as many weeks, I found myself  standing in front of a crib being gob smacked by my children. 

SO, now my kids sleep (mostly) in their cribs and it is brilliant.

I won’t lie.
I DO miss them in bed with me sometimes.

I miss lying beside them and watching them sleep, I miss opening my eyes to see them just waking up with their big toothless smiles and I even I miss them nuzzling towards me in their sleep, looking for milk.

I am sad that we closed this chapter of their lives and moved on to the next one, but, I am excited too.
Lives are made to be lived just as books were made to be read, and eventually, you have to get on with the story.

Also I have my husband back in bed with me, which is a really big plus.