Monday, April 30, 2012

Eight Pounds

I think Bug had a rough day today.
I know I did. 

Today really was the peak, and subsequent breaking point of a rough week.
Add to that, two nights of very little sleep, and you make for a very emotional and fed up mama. 

I felt completely used up, as if I did not have one ounce in me left to give.
I spent most of the day in tears.

The last few days I have found myself blankly going through the motions: change Bug, feed Bug, change Badger, feed Badger, followed by constantly rocking and bouncing both of them until it’s time to start the cycle all over again. I can manage to steal moments here and there to throw in a load of laundry or make a sandwich, but in general, these babies are pretty high maintenance. Although,who’s babies aren’t?  

The most frustrating moments are when I have them both finally asleep, and the simple act of me leaving the room will wake them.  I spend so much time just sitting on the couch bouncing their chairs with my feet and getting nothing done.

Anyway- Today was the day in which 6 weeks of babies finally caught up with me, and caught up with me hard. Luckily it is Sunday and Bill was here to take some of the load off. 

As for Bug, I think that she is going through her 6 week growth spurt.  She has been absolutely miserable.  The only thing that makes her happy is being nursed.  All she seemed to do today was scream, fuss and cry. Nothing made her happy. Not her bouncy seat, not my arms, not Bills arms, not our walk to the store and certainly not the new swing I just shelled out $50.00 for. At one point she even cried as she ate!
She is sleeping sweetly in my arms now; it is the first all day she has seemed at peace. The poor little thing must be exhausted.
I hate the "cliché-ness" of it all, but looking at her little face does make the absolute horror that was today a little more bearable.
I wish my camera was in arms reach so I could attempt to capture her in this moment, though I know a photo would never do it justice. 
No one else could ever see her the way I do.

I can’t help but give her soft little kisses, even if it risks waking her up.

Honestly? I’m a little terrified of this 8lb little girl who can single handily bring me to my brink and back again.


  1. Motherhood can effectively bring you to your knees in anguish, bash you over the head and make you ache with love... all at the same time.

    6 weeks is a turning point. Things go to hell and then start to ease up. 6 weeks from now - hell and back will happen again, but the easing up will be quicker and longer lasting afterwards.

  2. You are a great Mama and have 2 of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen, you have so much to look forward to with them, 1st words, 1st steps, 1st laugh and those things will make days like this feel irrelevant. Keep your chin up huni xx